I’m actually so unhappy with my day to day life at the moment and pretty much all of it stems back to feeling at the mercy of my work. Being on a zero hour contract I feel like I can never schedule anything fun or relaxing or enjoyable, because if shifts become available last minute then I feel forced to take them because I don’t know when the next hours are going to be. I’m living payday to payday and I am so stressed about everything; money, having no real time to relax or revitalise, feeling completely controlled by the whims of my work.
I just got a phone call to say that shifts have become available tonight, tomorrow and all day Saturday and Sunday. I have had no plans any other day this week and now tonight I’m going to a friend’s for dinner, tomorrow Emma and I were going to enjoy a whole day off together (imagine!) and on Sunday I am going to a dinner party at Emma’s parents house which has been planned for months.
At what point to I push away the fear of running out of money to focus on bettering my physical and mental health? If I say yes to these shifts then the only things I had to look forward to this week are gone, and I’m letting down everyone I made plans with. If I say no then I’m at risk of running out of money as I don’t know when I’ll next have hours?
So what’s more important?
I really hate this. I hate all of this.