take this pink ribbon off my eyes...

I’m actually so unhappy with my day to day life at the moment and pretty much all of it stems back to feeling at the mercy of my work. Being on a zero hour contract I feel like I can never schedule anything fun or relaxing or enjoyable, because if shifts become available last minute then I feel forced to take them because I don’t know when the next hours are going to be. I’m living payday to payday and I am so stressed about everything; money, having no real time to relax or revitalise, feeling completely controlled by the whims of my work.

I just got a phone call to say that shifts have become available tonight, tomorrow and all day Saturday and Sunday. I have had no plans any other day this week and now tonight I’m going to a friend’s for dinner, tomorrow Emma and I were going to enjoy a whole day off together (imagine!) and on Sunday I am going to a dinner party at Emma’s parents house which has been planned for months.

At what point to I push away the fear of running out of money to focus on bettering my physical and mental health? If I say yes to these shifts then the only things I had to look forward to this week are gone, and I’m letting down everyone I made plans with. If I say no then I’m at risk of running out of money as I don’t know when I’ll next have hours?

So what’s more important?

I really hate this. I hate all of this.

Today I had a panic attack because I tried to take the bins out while it was raining and when I opened the back door the garden path and the grass was completely covered in snails (and slugs).

I have a phobia of standing on snails and slugs, it got so bad for a while that I couldn’t leave my old house if it had been raining and they were out on the path. I haven’t really been confronted with it in a while because our front steps don’t get too bad and I normally just walk on the road if it’s the right weather/time of year for the snails to be out. But today I just froze and started hyperventilating. It was horrible. I’ve felt sick for the last two hours.

Wah. Now I am starting work and I can’t get rid of the panicky flutter in my chest.

Ugh. Really not feeling well. I had hoped to clean the whole flat before starting work at 5 but I think I need to lie down.

Boke Boke Boke.

southernshellsandweddingbells:

THIS IS LITERALLY A DESCRIPTION OF MY LIFE

southernshellsandweddingbells:

THIS IS LITERALLY A DESCRIPTION OF MY LIFE

fuckyeahtattoos:

Colour outline tattoo, by Lizi Sage, Ritual Art tattoo, Rainham, Kent 

fuckyeahtattoos:

Colour outline tattoo, by Lizi Sage, Ritual Art tattoo, Rainham, Kent 

bheidh:

a reality check that’s a blow to the solar plexis

SEE ALSO: why i’m crumbling under the weight of prolonged loneliness for fear of letting anyone in again & repeating this

[via]

rosaparking:

blowmeonelastkiss:

fashion is a lifestyle, it’s a choice. it’s a freedom of expression. you have to live it, you have to love it. you have to breathe it. life’s all about love and glamour

Im so scared


This is terrifying.

rosaparking:

blowmeonelastkiss:

fashion is a lifestyle, it’s a choice. it’s a freedom of expression. you have to live it, you have to love it. you have to breathe it. life’s all about love and glamour

Im so scared

This is terrifying.

the first three words you see are what you want in life

friendboyhalf:

sloeclub:

cyberscoundrel:

nakedmallrat69:

bukakkemonogatari:

image

SEAL HEEM MONEY

booty, fanfics and soap

Gay, fanfics, Pokemon

Anal pokemon fanfic

Is this some kind of furry bullshit

Job, beauty and hot-dick. Yep, sounds accurate.

writingnotebooks:

Ooooh, I LOVE this question!
Lots of people keep journals with systematic diary entries, but I understand that it doesn’t work for everyone.
Here are some cool/interesting/fun/motivational/productive things you can do that don’t necessarily include keeping a diary:
Turn a Moleskine (or other notebook) into a planner/organizer/PDA/productivity system
52 lists
30 Days of Lists
Answer "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind"
Start a gratitude journal
Create a "life handbook"
Keep morning pages
Start a scrapbook
Use journal prompts to answer questions when you feel like it
Participate in the 7-week Life Cleanse
Keep these 9 lists updated — REALLY useful things to keep track of!
Take notes as you learn something new
Use a notebook to keep track of goal-setting and productivity: 60 Ways to Improve Your Life in 100 Days
Keep a recipe book
Keep a reading journal/movie journal/music journal/fashion journal
Start a quote book
Make a travel journal — use it to plan your trip/vacation, then glue in transportation ticket stubs, itineraries, maps, photographs, dinner receipts at fancy restaurants, and write about your adventures
Doodle in it
Write poetry
Cut out and glue pretty pictures
Create a bucket list journal and record each item as you complete it
Does that give you enough ideas to start with? :)
(Made rebloggable by request.)

writingnotebooks:

Ooooh, I LOVE this question!

Lots of people keep journals with systematic diary entries, but I understand that it doesn’t work for everyone.

Here are some cool/interesting/fun/motivational/productive things you can do that don’t necessarily include keeping a diary:

Does that give you enough ideas to start with? :)

(Made rebloggable by request.)